Self-care? Really? Yes, really. Everything is finite. There are limits to my level of energy, there are limits to my ability to cope, there are limits to my empathy for others - you get the idea. I have spent so much of my life taking care of other people that I have lost sight of what self-care really means. Due to circumstances beyond my control I had the opportunity to reflect on what taking care of myself really looks like.
For me, what this means is accepting that life isn't fair. You can be right, you can be the good person and yet you can (and there are instances where you may) get the raw end of the deal. I have fought a custody battle for 7 years. The former spouse has used the letter of the law to manipulate the spirit of the law and deny me my rights. I have screamed at the top of my lungs it would appear that "it isn't fair!" While people will commiserate that it isn't fair - there isn't anything anyone can do for me. The only way to take care of myself is to accept it and move on.
Move on, now there is an interesting phrase. In order to move on you have to start walking away from something, a point of reference. For me, I have to walk away from what I thought co-parenting would look like. I have to walk away from my idea of what being a mother is. Hard stuff.
Letting other people take care of their own stuff isn't easy, especially when those "other people" are related to you. My kids are old enough to realize that at some point they have to take ownership of their relationships and as one of their parents I have to step back and let them. Not easy.
There it is again, find the balance between holding on and letting go.
Finding joy is sometimes as simple as getting gorgeous shoes cheap. Steve Maddens for $11.22 :-)
Pumpkin soup from scratch. Mmmmm. Yummy!
A corn maze....
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